My Sisyphean Labour

The last couple of weeks have been wonderful. The evenings are spent on leisurely pursuits like an apple cake baking at midnight. Feeding my tv addiction with shows like the Ghost Whisperer, NCIS, and anything fun or interesting. The day time is spent being surly at my computer struggling on my website design. It is the worse when you're designing for yourself and having high expectation becomes another excuse to procrastinate.

I bought a book on Procrastination by Jane B. Burka and Lenora M. Yuen and had a dose of reality check. Looking back to my formative years I can now spot how I used to make excuses and procrastinated because everything had to be just so. I worked my bum off with long hours at the library reading through tomes to cite for references and defend my argument on essays that were always about 50 words shy of meeting the minimal word count. These essays and other big assignments were always handed in late because I was a perfectionist who also had serious issues with having my work presented just so. Yep, like any neurotic those anxieties held back my progress and life successes. In hindsight I am strangely aware of how I am fallng into old patterns and jeopardizing my future net worth by this inexplicable need to make things perfect. Or having a progression of activities to manifest at certain order. I'm not sure if this is a personality issue but dang...it's frustrating. Fighting with one's self to try to move on forward with my life but nothing short of an exercise in futility.

For the time being I'm juggling with several projects right now-two will hopefully come to an end soon so I can invoice and get paid. I can't help wondering if this blog is also another Sisyphean labour. Things to be done because since bills have deadlines too. But my website is like a monkey that never takes a vacation. I must get it done so I can get a job. Who is going to hire a designer who doesn't showcase their work-unless they're famous? To quote a past title, "Looking good isn't enough". In my mind's eye, it has to be perfect. This neurotic twitch isn't getting me any result. I know all designers struggle with their own websites who knows this could be a subconscious indication that I don't want any professional success in my life. Oh, silly aspirations.

LG Fashion Week...Wow Factor

It has been inspiring participating in the Toronto LG Fashion Week, the event is organized by the Fashion Design Council of Canada, spear headed by Robin Kay. So far, I have watched Lizares, Evan Biddell and Rudsak. I love that city is showcasing local talents and there is a ripple effect with many more fashion shows happening all around the city. What stands out is the affirmation of world-class creative talents here, progressive image of beauty-I haven’t seen such diverse ethnicity on the runway since watching the high school fashion show. The press noticed.

The Toronto Star
The Globe and Mail
Fashion Television
more...

I am writing about the show for blink magazine. While I was in the media room, I got to hang with the likes of MTV’s Dan Levy, amidst photographers, fashion writers, reporters and producers. I really missed the creative energy that comes from looking at a the line up of design work and walking among painfully stylish beautiful people dressed in black, colours, retro glamour and lots of black stilettos. I haven’t felt so at home nor enjoyed pausing to people watch. Something about this feels amazing.

While the city is recovering…I hope that there are more events like this to showcase this city’s talent and innovation. I should hit up on LG, RIM and a few new media companies to show case our technological innovations.

Looking good isn't enough

Whoa this past 2 weeks has been really intense with 2 NAAAP Toronto signature events happening back 2 back with months of planning and work to get it all off the ground. Little Asia and the Silk Road Gala was delivered.

As of late, I have been wrapping my head around the role of public relations to build a strong public exposure. Having the right content, art direction and design (look and feel) creates and impact – but to draw a strong public following begins with all things news related, the media. While our marketing guy sent out the press releases and I pushed on my tasks, as the visual and communication lead. I understand the issues involved to qualify the event and make it newsworthy. I can’t help wondering how we can attract a stronger media following and make that leap from grass root to something more established. After all, how one angles the press release to draw a media following is an art in itself. Look good visually isn’t enough, it still needs something to back up the hype. Being web/design savvy isn’t enough. I really wish that I am PR savvy as well.

I think it’s time for me to step back into the class room on the matter of public relations. Above is a motion graphic sample I did for the gala but in a much smaller scale.

Collective DIY to Innovation

This article goes along the same line in my views on technology and innovation. I could see the appearance of so many creative collaborative sites. Even with my favourite photographers, designers-no one works alone. Well, no successful project happens in a vacuum or in isolation. I’ve learned my lesson after working for myself for the last 9 years. When I had a business partner it was a double edge sword—what I really appreciated was her pushing me to raise the bar on design while each of us with dominant personality managed eachother.

As designers we have a propensity for DIY projects. Everything always starts there with some exploration, experimentation and, deconstruction. The advent of sites and magazines like Make, Technology hobby shops and dyi project site scrambles our established notion of how things work. Innovation in technology or creativity always comes from this kind of discovery. Why else would we have a passion to learn new things and be challenged or to challenge the notion of convention. Being open minded enough to allow another point of view in this process-wouldn’t it push this innovation to another level? I remembered once how a design teacher once told us, “there is no I in industrial design”. I believe that it holds true to all creative endeavors that doesn’t fear to hit the next level.

I honestly look forward to trying out this environment. Yes, I’m aware of the politics when working in a group-but isn’t that way there are project managers or mediators in a creative brain storming session?

Onward and Upward

Well, to say the least I’m on the mend. I set up a placeholder page for my new site, took care of the domain namespace and permission for the database. Tomorrow I will direct the old domain to the new site placeholder. Somewhere deep down there is still a lot of anxiety, the beast is sedated for now but the fail of failure is still there. So it’s onward from here and hopefully upward.

While I spent the day browsing I found a few interesting article in what appears to be a string of random tangent thoughts. It started with boredom. Looking for something to do—it’s Sunday I need to do something different. This started with the City of Toronto’s Event Calendar, then onward to free events at Luminato. This led to searching for an LED light kit for my paper lantern project that might lead to the formation of an art club. If you live in Toronto and are curious about it, leave a post.

From there, I checked up on the latest by my friends on Facebook and one in particular intrigued me about sustainable pre fabricated housing made of transport containers that led to one of my favourite design site that went back to Facebook who has a friend who is listed on as one of the Top 100 Most Creative People list in this issue that led to a really interesting article at Fast Companies. Then my sister came in and we had a talk about sorting out my workspace. That led to my searching for shelving solution at Ikea and looking at my desk thinking about what I want for my new box, and started looking at some new chassis and cpu fans. Then back to Ikea, Home Depot for organization ideas for this tiny space. And back to research for LED components..on and on…and at one point as I was going through the new product section, critiquing the design to myself and appreciating the company’s commitment to the environment. Then I had a thought while I was plotting on how to purge, I remembered how old computers are recycled…and found an article about it. How the components are striped by hands and thrown in an open coal fire in the middle of a small family town in rural China. The women are exposed to dioxin that is also passed down to their infants. You know the rest. This added another item in my life-to-do list to volunteer at a NGO to help these rural women to find alternative source of income. Providing them with choices knowing that there is always an alternative method or a chance, no one on earth should be going through this kind of downward spiral.

Changing the world by providing sustainable choices is a goal I hope to achieve in some way. I have a lot of respect and admiration for individuals who makes the effort from behind the scene.

Downward On

The last past week has been pretty rough. I found out that I failed the program because I can't code properly to get the applications working. I worked so incredibly hard to get through the project's mechanism and complete the assignments. Getting it to work is another story. I didn't finish them all and handed in what I could. Deadline was met with half an hour to spare. So the professor's assessment was based on my ability to get a random number between 1-5. I couldn't get it to work in AS3. So I failed and won't be getting a diploma from the IMM program. That's a tough thing to swallow. I look back to the past year as very trying times. Classmates with dominant personalities who treated me with absolute disdain because I was the weakest link in class, and they consider what I do professionally to be absolute fluff and irrelevant. The lack of academic support along with other factors that just made that whole year very difficult to say the least. I haven't felt this uncomfortable in the classroom since I was bullied in kindergarten and was targeted by the office bully when I had my first and only job-which I refused to be a victim of.

In the years leading up to this decision to take on the program started with my former business partner who openly told a client at a meeting that I'm technically incompetent. The flippant expression was just too much. Yes she was a Flash, design and technical guru who could pull off just about anything and she had some serious issues that needed professional attention. I was the art-business director who understood what the clients wanted and knew how to develop a lean mean working communication system machine for them that also communicated their brand ideals with crystal clarity. In the past few years I have been getting more and more request for work that went beyond my skill set in flash and coding. On top if it all I really want to move into motion graphics as that was something that I was very passionate about since I worked as a production assistant prior to going to design school. It was time to grow and bone up on my biggest weakness, my inability to code. Armed with a passion for learning and some financial support from my parents, that roughly added up to about $7grand (CND) in tuition...yes, $7 grand for 1 year's worth of disorganized bombardment of lessons, assignments, exams at a manic pace that makes juggle beats sound like a mellow snap happy pop tune from the 50's. Young millennial classmate fresh from convocation ceremony who sat near me and gave the cold shoulders because they didn't liked that I didn't blindly agree with how they saw things. I noticed them sneering at me when they thought I wasn't looking. Yes that made for the ripe condition for any sane person to want to stay in class. I can't dismiss that there were wonderful people who encouraged me to stay with the program and helped me when they could. They were few and far in between.

I can't code and won't be receiving a graduate certificate. Concerned and supportive friends gave me the best pep-talk and sent me their vote of confidence, trying to remind me how I've survived past disastrous moments. The notion of failure just made all those awards and competitions I won then seem so useless. At such a low point, I kept wondering to myself what can I honestly say that I've achieved up top this point? All my friends believe in me so blindly, I think they're all fools for it because I can't see it. I can't relate with them on this matter. While everything is still raw, all I want to do is to lie back on my bed and read voraciously; cocooned among my computers, books and blank pieces of papers and other implements to vent my thoughts with. Crying is too exhausting. So what's next? I really don't know. All I know is I have to pay my bills next month.

Cruelty of this situation is knowing that my detractors has won this round. Fueling my inner critic to get at what is left of my self-esteem.

On And On.

On top of learning to program. I’m also trying to figure out how to use Spry in Dreamweaver to help me deliver a dynamic navigation and gallery without the use of a database. Yea, it’s been interesting and frustrating so far. I have been wrestling with a table set up in html and entering it as a data set in a Dreamweaver template. The application won’t import the table as a spry object because it isn’t styled. I think I need to step away from it for a bit.

Another thing to work on is a Flash portfolio site with a database. Fun!! I think I need to sit back and rescramble my brain for a bit with some back issues of IDN or play with a mechanical paper lamp idea.

As I progress in getting to know Flash a bit better to get a handle on the newish motion editor. I find that it has been crashing quite a bit and Adobe would like you to write a report to recreate the crash. I wasn’t too happy about that while I’m still wondering in dismay at how much work I’ve lost.

Alright..I’ll get my focus back in a bit. There is just so much to do. Focus. Focus. Focus.

Section 2, Chapters 4-6

Whoa Nelly!! This is the part where you learn about the logic and decision making. This section covers Variables, Conditions and Loops. I keep skipping ahead to see what else I’m covering, just in case you’re curious, section 3 covers Functions and Objects-it’s not slim reading either.

I’ve been sick and injured the last couple of days and I’m also dopped up on a new medication so, I’ve been reading in the doctor’s waiting room and I haven’t been able to go over the exercises. I got stuck on exercise 4-3, where you recreate what appears on the screen shot by changing the variables. I tried a few things and struggled with how one achieves it rather than what I do to execute it. the language is simple enough to figure out…but the programming logic is something that I struggle with.

I’ll do another post to let you know how I’m doing with the rest of the chapter. So far, when I was in school and learning about variables, you learn what it is and how it can be applied to a simple program. However, you don’t learn the extent of what variables can do and how it can alter your program. Sure it is a hassle to declare all of the variables that you want to be changeable. But it creates an opportunity to alter the program to create some very creative outcome. Processing is this regard. I learned about variables in AS3, it’s pretty dry, yet very important.

Alright, I need to finish up some grunt work...updating changes to a navigation for a website. Fun! I can’t say that with a smile. Hey, it pays the bills.

Blogging for What It Is...Struggling to Learn How to Program

Alright, the marking is done…I can now say anything I want here within reason. If you happen to read it, I hope you enjoy it.

Yes I am a designer and am trying to learn how to program. It has been a tough struggle with everything else that I juggle with on a daily basis (like handling my own clients, projects, etc). While I was in school I got to learn the fundamentals, like what a variables, loops and condition is-Object Oriented Programming language (like ActionScript 3, Java, Processing) is all a bit too much to take in while learning about AJAX, javascript, css, php and mySQL. This has been a huge learning curve for someone who is trained to think very subjectively. This kind of logical language is very daunting. So I’m using Processing as a basis for learning how to program properly as the author is an experienced computer science professor at NYU, Daniel Shiffman he has clearly translated his introduction to programming into his book, Learning Processing, A Beginner’s Guide to Programming Images, Animation, and Interaction.

What I had always struggled with in class, was trying understanding what happens to all those data that creates the cool animations and effects in AS3. After constantly sitting in class and just not getting it, frustrating the professor and myself. I got a tutor. He got me started on the fundamentals, like comment the process. Think in layman’s term what you want to accomplish and the logical steps it takes to make it happen. After that you start thinking about it in loops and condition. That wasn’t enough for me. I needed to understand the basis of the language, the theoretical parts and cogs that makes the machine work. From here I can apply it to any scripting and programming languages.

The only reason why I’m doing this is because I am driven by the need to understand how things work. This blog and twitter posting will chronicle where I am at in this journey to get my assignment done and demystifying the nature of programming.

Spatial View: 3D for the Masses

More often than naught, emerging technology doesn’t just apply for software that can do extraordinary things or new hardware. How about a piece of plastic that can allow the average cellphone user to view the graphics in 3d without the cheesy glasses? That’s pretty cool!

I guess 3D Interactive Commercials via the cellphone is now here thanks to Spatial View, a company that manufactures software and the said hardware to enble users to view 3D images onscreen. The creative possibilities are endless here but I have a feeling that they’re still ahead of the curve if no brand name cellphone manufacturers are licensing the use of their patents. I honestly can’t wait for this to be applied in mobile GPS systems! Tom Tom, eat your heart out and call this company.

When viewing for directions, one’s sense of spatial reference is not 2 dimensional. And having a 3D experiential point of reference is much more user-friendly than a mimicked 3d effect straight out of MS Word!

With creative/commercial applications I wonder if it can be jarring. Definitely a field of study for applied motion graphics. The key thing here is, it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and assembly is quite easy. So who is going to buy it?

Jam3Media: Interactive Stories Now!

I wasn’t present for the presentation in class, but I know of their work in the industry and it warms my heart to know that they’re graduates from this program. Eventhough I can’t code for what I’m worth, I do appreciate how this program unifies different media-type and teaches to assemble the bits and make it work. Jam3Media’s partnership with Spy Production is a beautiful marriage of design, media and interactivity.

As a student of design, I had learned about extending a brand narrative to an experiential level. It’s not a question of slapping a logo and the right art directed photograph for accompaniment. Indigo does a great job extending it to interior design, music choices. I appreciate that the cinematic narration is going to be utilized in an interactive environment…I can’t wait to see what they’re going to churn out!

Future Use: Damn Data Plans Is Still Expensive

We had a speaker today come in, Wayne MacPhail who is a New Media consultant and content producer. We had a very insightful lecture on where it came from, how it was used and the economy of innovation from a consumer stand point. This lecture is perfect for all new media producers, from developers to designers and back as he chronicled the use, he touched on a lot of topic about visions of how technology’s perceived use is. From scenes in a sci-fi movie like 2001 Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, Minority Report that technology use is concurrent-past, present and future while we whittle away on our respective cozy box of alternate existence. We tend to only think now.

The current cost of our cellphone’s data plan (yes I’m back here again) doesn’t accurately reflect on how we use it. Wayne had indicated that competition will drive the cost for use of data down. I forget what it’s called…but it really does fly in the face of traditional theory of supply and demand. As the product becomes a commodity, it’ll generate competition and drive prices down. When oh when will the prices go down? Right along with having free internet access, either by an unsecure wireless access in the city center or on a train, subway, bus or plane. Wayne said that this kind of data cost will be like that of utilities. It’ll be free in theory but it’s coming out of our tax dollars instead of our disposable income which can shape things to come. Raising the question, “When will it happen?”.

Obviously we’re all addicted to our cellphone. I’m addicted to the email access on mine. No thanks to Ma Bell and in my case, the service provider is Rogers I believe is inhibiting innovation and how we can best expand use of mobile technology because the data plan is too expensive!?!! I believe that Ma Bell is the monopoly as CRTC opens the competition to other companies, I’m still waiting for the cost of data plan to go down. It looks like it will be some time to come as there are very conservative policies in place for this kind of market. I honestly blame colonial cultural values that maintain this kind of conservative attitude towards innovation. It stifles access and keeps costs high.

What now? The cost of battery technology is his next Disruptive Technology. I just hope that it applies to the electric car being accessible to the general public as it becomes commodity.

Wave and Action!

What’s intriguing about new technology is being able to maintain a certain level of awe after you understand how everything works. Having the ability to interact with a graphic, movie or signage by gesturing, activating sensors with your movement piques child-like curiosity to wonder, wow…how does it work? When you understand how it works, one wishes to apply new use for it. After a while, reality kicks in. This is a product--a viable, profit generating business, with a price model. The child-like wonder wanders away.

One can day dream about what can happen next. Maybe harnessing the EEG (Electroencephalography) signal to move a pointer on a screen -utilizing one’s mind to navigate a computer. The impact of this idea can alter workforce as it redefines what is considered “useful”. Luddite or paraplegic can still complete complex tasks without having to understand how the technology works; just as long as the task gets done.

Back to GestureTech, it’s hard to appreciate the novelty/futuristic way of interacting with a computer or digital signage. From a business standpoint, this is an incredible opportunity to make in impact. To integrate the viewer into the story adds a new depth to how a brand story can be told by enveloping the user in a designed experience.